You have two cows
"Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines" Devour their flesh, before they devour yours! 
You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.^{[1]} All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:
This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:
Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.
A longstanding tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to twocow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 twocow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of twocow truths is infinite.
A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few threecow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.
 ↑ Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!  
1. Analysis 
9. This cow does not exist 
17. Politicowl Junk 
24.3. Video Games Volume 2  

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External links[edit]
What will happen to your two cows
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